When FEAR takes over

We all fight with fear every day.  It’s OK to be afraid.  It’s part of our human programming. But, we can learn to experience fear in a healthy way. Here is how I have managed through my fears in the past.  Perhaps you will find this process helpful in managing through the fears you face on your journey as well.

STEP 1: Determine the Source of Your Fear

It’s important to understand if your fear is based on reality or illusion. The definition of FEAR can sometimes be “False Expectations Appearing Real”.

Our intuition makes us experience fear to protect us from dangerous situations.  This is the fear we need to pay attention to and maybe back up a little, or change direction to keep ourselves safe.

Other times our brains create a set of illusions about what we think is happening in our lives, when in reality the truth is something completely different. We do this a lot when we think people will judge us for our choices or actions, even before we take them.  So, we allow our fear to stop us in our tracks… rather than trusting ourselves enough to move forward.

I was texting with a friend the other night who admitted to me later that he was allowing his fear stop him from moving forward in his life. Don’t let your life pass you by because of fear.

Me:  “What are you doing?”
Friend: “Watching the game.”
Me: “Enjoy the game.”
Friend:  “Just trying to make the time go by.”
Me: “That’s really sad.”
Friend: “I realized it when I wrote it.”
Me: “What happens when your time runs out?”

STEP 2: Decide “What is the Worst That Can Happen?”

My friend is in the middle of some major life changes, and rather than make a choice that other people might not agree with, he is choosing to do nothing.  None of us have to live this way.

I had a counselor ask me two important questions in my early 20s that have stayed with me.  These questions have allowed me to move through my fears and not allow them to stop me from living.

Q1: “What is the worst thing that could happen?”
Q2: “What would you do about it?”

Ask yourself these questions. Understanding that you can survive the worst possible outcome… makes any situation easier to face.  It helps remove the paralyzing fear some of us create for ourselves, and gives us back control over the outcome.

STEP 3: Move Forward with Faith and Trust

Once you have explored whether a fear is reality based, or an illusion… and you have decided what the worst outcome would be, you can take back control over what happens next.  You do this through faith and trust.. in yourself and the universe, higher power, God, wherever you place your faith.  Walk through the fear…. and get to the other side.  Let it go… and live your life.

Love and Light,


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