I woke up at 2:22am to a loud voice in my head saying “You need to Google the word ‘expectations’. It will help you find what you are looking for.” I mean, I was wide awake in less than 30 seconds and grabbing my iPhone off the nightstand to follow the instructions forcefully placed into my consciousness.
Let me give you a little background to help set the stage. You see I have been dating someone for nearly five months and he said to me recently that he felt pressured by the relationship, and asked me “Why do there have to be any expectations?”.
And, because I am the type to ponder questions like this rather than throw out a simple response of “I don’t know.” and move on… I internalized the question and it bothered me for nearly two weeks. I understand what he was trying to say intuitively, but it still bothered me. I was already invested in this guy. Of course I had expectations… and why was he making this out to be a bad thing?
When I asked him what his expectations were, he responded that he supposes he had no expectations… which is completely untrue. He may not have seen it the way I did, but I am sure that he had some expectations (like the ones below) and didn’t realize that’s what they were:
- When he sent me a text message he expected me to respond in a reasonable amount of time.
- When we both had time available and he was in town he expected to spend the evening with me with little to no planning or notice.
- When he was habitually one or even two hours late to our evening plans, he expected me not to be upset and still be ok with seeing him and not complaining.
- When he would disappear and I wouldn’t hear from him for days at a time he would expect me to be ok with his silence and not to be concerned he might be lying in a ditch somewhere.
In my query I was guided to this article: http://peterwade.com/articles/wade/expect.shtml
It made things very clear for me. What I found in this article is that “expectation” is the same energy/meaning as “trust and faith”, and without expectation there can be no trust or faith.
“…that the word “trust” in the King James version is the same word that we are currently studying, the word “expectation”.
“…Notice Hebrews 10:23. “Let us hold fast the confession of our expectation without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised).” The King James translation employs the word “faith” but it is not the Greek word pistis which is usually translated “faith”. The word here is the one I have been sharing, the word “expectation”. ”
I am also a firm believer in co-creating your reality, which is directly related to the practice of finding gratitude for those things you want to bring more of into your life…
“…This is also a tremendous key: if you are really expecting something, thank the Father for it. Keep thanking Him until it becomes reality.”
Well, one thing that he might NOT HAVE EXPECTED was when he texted me recently with this message: “I would like our status to Just be friends” that I would not respond. So, perhaps I have now proven to him that maybe he did have some expectations after all.
So, two nights before I received this text from him, I awoke in the middle of the night by this guidance to Google “expectations”. As a result I learned something really important.
I hope that one day he realizes that having expectations is part of co-creating the reality that you want, and without them you are sort of living life on “pause” and not really living. And, if you have no expectations from a relationship you have no faith or trust that it’s going anywhere. “Why do there have to be any expectations?” is probably not a good question to ask someone who might have been emotionally invested in you.
Love and Light,