I refuse to use the word “alone” to describe the times when I am “with myself”. The word “alone” has so many negative connotations to it including the word “lonely”. But, who says you have to be “lonely” when you are with yourself. Some of my favorite, most memorable moments in my life were spent with myself.
I love to go the movies with myself. I get to pick what I want to see. I can order the largest popcorn and soda… and if I get full and don’t finish it all, I am ok with that too. I get to pick where I sit, which is usually a couple rows from the back in the middle. And, guess what…it’s much easier to find one seat in the best part of the theatre even if you come in a little late. Love that.
When I was married, my then husband hated the symphony so we never went. I even had free tickets one night from work. So, I went home and got all dressed up to suprise him and when he got home from work his response was, “I am sorry you got all dressed up, but I am not at all interested in going to the symphony… even if it is free”. After we were divorced one of the first things I did on a Friday evening was drive myself down to will call at the symphony and bought myself a single seat in the third row, center. What an amazing evening that was. I closed my eyes and dissappeared into the beautiful music and enjoyed the company of “me”.
These days, I spend the majority of my non-working time with my son. He is with his dad four days and eight nights each month. I love my son, but I treasure those moments with myself because they are few and far between.
I try to steal 15 mins each morning before he wakes to enjoy the first moments of my day with a cup of coffee in the quiet of the house… in my favorite chair with my thoughts. I contemplate my goals for the day and set my intentions for success, happiness, peace, joy and love. It’s the perfect way to clear my head of the chaos of the previous day and night, and focus on experiencing the coming day with good intent.
Each night before I turn my light off to go to sleep, I try and steal another 15 minutes to reflect on the day with myself. I think about the challenges I faced that day and how I responded to them. Most times I am happy with my response, but when I am not I replay those scenarios in my head and change the outcome to a more positive one. Sometimes I have the opportunity to live the experience again and when I do I use that “practice session” to change the outcome in real time and am grateful for having a second chance to do so.
I have grown to cherish the time I spend with myself. I get to do all the things I love, eat whatever I want, turn the music up as loud as I want to, and dance around the house without anyone thinking I have lost my marbles. I sing at the top of my lungs until I lose my voice. I can watch 12 hours (or more) of Lifetime Television Movie network without anyone complaining.
I have found a lot of blessings in being with myself. For that… I am grateful. And, when the universe decides to bless me with a new partner for the rest of my journey, I will still steal away for a movie every now and then… but, it will be nice to also have someone sitting next to me. For now I will enjoy my morning coffee with myself and pray for the right partner who also appreciates a little “myself time” every now and then. Someone who understands that being with ourselves keeps us grounded and allows us to enjoy life to its fullest and not just those things we have in common with someone else who shares our space for a while.
Love and Light,