Inspiration. Don’t you love when you get inspired by the small stuff? Seriously! I just celebrated my birthday. It was a really strange birthday this year. Look, I’m not big on celebrations and there is nothing that makes my stomach go “BLECH” like a kid’s birthday party, so low key works great for me. However I was a little nervous about how low key this year would be. My hubby had to travel for work and was gone for a good chunk of time this particular week including the actual day of my birth. My nine year was traumatized by daddy’s travel and he was also doing a sport’s camp for the first time in his life and felt like he needed dad. I was having a birthday and my child was ridden with angst because he hadn’t bought me a gift and we were spending the day at his camp. So, instead of figuring out how I was going to celebrate me, I was figuring out how to become a therapist! Once I assured my son that I would love nothing more than to be at his camp in the blistering, 100+ degree temperatures and blazing sun and that dad had actually taken care of the gift portion of this day, I had some time within my own head and the internet.
Sounds a little dangerous huh? But actually, it was one of the best birthdays ever. I received the gift of inspiration. Not necessarily inspiration for any one thing in particular but inspiration in the sense of the Universe telling me “you’re on the right track sister”! First, I was inundated with birthday wishes on Facebook. This was inspiring as I read and responded to each one of them. Some were from friends that I have just made recently, others were friends that have been with me since the second grade. More fun than reading the well wishes, was responding to them. By the end of the evening I was so filled up with gratitude that each of these friends had let me in their worlds. Despite what they were going through in their worlds, they were wishing me well. I didn’t care about the birthday. I wanted to fill them up as they were filling me up. As I responded, I realized that my responses had nothing to do with my birthday but everything to do with them and what they give to the Universe and me too each day. It absolutely filled me to the brim with joy and love and inner peace. Inspiration.
While having fun with my friends from all ages, I was watching my son. He inspired me to the very core. This kid was so scared at the beginning of the week. This camp was totally outside of his comfort zone and he did it without knowing a single person on that field. He was courageous and brave and driven. I watched him do things on that last day, my birthday, that he had never before attempted nor even thought about doing. I watched him take some hard hits and then return the favors. I watched him display footwork and speed and drive and desire from so far deep within his young body. I watched him glow from head to foot with joy, not because of success but because he tried something new and achieved an almost independence deep within that he had never felt before. He also displayed empathy and compassion this day that I have frankly not seen in many people. When we got in the car I told him that he gave me the birthday present that nobody could buy…ever. When he asked what that was I told him very simply, inspiration! I cried as I drove us home and assured him that the tears were tears of joy and gratefulness for the family and life I was given. I peeked in the rear view mirror and watched him wipe away tears as he whispered “thank you! I love you, mom”. No little buddy, thank you!
Finally, as the day came to an end, we cancelled our big night out because we were both exhausted. We showered, put on our jammies and hunkered in for the night. As we snuggled on the couch and talked about the day, the dogs barked and we heard the door. At first, there was panic in my boy’s eyes, then he heard that familiar voice. Daddy was home. My husband surprised us and walked through that door to spend a few hours with his wife on her birthday and to be with his son for Father’s Day the next day. Inspiration. Despite the setback this impromptu trip was going to cause him and the sleep it would deprive him of and the sheer insanity of it, this man got on a plane to be with us for less than thirty six hours. There was such relief, gratitude and joy from all of us and love filled up this house. Even the dogs had a little extra spring in their steps.
As I put my head down that night on my pillow to rest, l was filled with gratitude, love, joy and inspiration. Like I said, it wasn’t inspiration to do any one particular thing but inspiration to well, I guess inspire and feel inspired. I have been carrying this feeling along with me to my workouts, to my parenting, to caring for my family. Heck, I have to admit, I have carried it to my laundry. No kidding. I haven’t complained once about laundry but rather have been grateful for the laundry I have to do knowing it’s for those I love most. Um, ok, that’s a little lie. I did gripe when I had to wash the dog bed after the puppy peed on it. Hey, I’m entitled to that but I am still grateful for her and inspired by her tenacious little personality. What I’m trying to say in a long winded way… inspiration is everywhere. I’m glad I finally figured that out and now hope I can spread even just a little along the way.