I spent the past few days with my Mom in the mountains of Northern Arizona. It was a great visit, but I could tell she was distracted. She won’t say anything (I attribute that to our German heritage.), but it’s pretty clear to me that she is about to put her mountain home up for sale and begin transitioning to the next phase of her life at 69 years young. I sense a lot of change coming for her. Her faithful dog is on her last leg and will probably need to be put to sleep next week, leaving her alone with her trusty cat in a big house with a beautiful view of the mountains. She knows it’s time for change, and I can tell she is afraid.
My stepdad and her bought this house nearly 15 years ago, and have created so many memories here, not to mention the network of friends she now calls family. He passed away a few years ago from lung cancer. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to face this transition alone. I am going to remind her before I drive away today that she doesn’t have to do this alone, and she shouldn’t. She was there for me through all the major transitions of my life… maybe not physically present, but always a phone call away. Just having a voice on the other end of the line is a life saver some times when you aren’t sure what lies ahead.
The funny thing is… through all this she says to me this morning, “We will make it through this. We are our mother’s daughters.” My grandmother lost my grandfather to leukemia in her 30s, leaving her with four children to raise on her own. My mom’s sisters are just like her. They plow through turbulent times like they are pushing a cart through a grocery store. Getting what they need on their list and moving on. And, I learned from watching all these amazing women in my life that I too can do anything I set my mind to. We just need a goal (a list) and we are on our way.
I think the part she is missing today, is a goal. What comes next? I can’t answer that for her… only she can. But, whatever she decides, wherever she goes, I know she will have a wonderful life ahead. Once she digs deep down to decide what will make her happy and fulfilled. None of the rest of us can decide this for her.
Someone asked me yesterday if my next blog was going to be about Sedona. It was a place we visited this Mother’s Day weekend. I thought about it, and decided that although I have visited many places in my lifetime, there is only one place that is really worth writing about. HOME. Home is where we make our memories. It’s not a house. It’s not the stuff in that house.. or the view. It is the feeling you get when you arrive there. Coming home is the most amazing feeling on the planet. Home, is where you make it. It’s the place you decide to plant your roots for a while and experience life. I have lived many places and I always thought home was the physical house I grew up in. Somebody else lives there now. Home has been many places for me, and I know my home will change again many times before I eventually go “home”. I hope I find each place that I call home will leave me full of memories of love, family and friends. That is what home is to me now.
In all the years, and all the places I have lived, I have finally come to realize what home really is. I hope that my mom will find home again. That is my Mother’s Day wish for her today.
Love and Light,